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Thread: What do Women Want??

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    cheers and welcome - partyde 

    What do Women Want??

    I've thought a lot about this and keep wondering .... what is it that women really want?

    I never thought I was that bad of a guy. I tried to be a good husband, and a better father than what I knew. I provided well for my family, tried my best to be a good father to my children telling them every night how much I loved them after I read them their story, played our silly games, and said our prayers yet, it never seemed to be enough.

    I married a lady who had 3 kids, took them in, paid for them, raised them because their real dad never would provide much for them. Tried to teach them some of the values I thought they would need, even paid the legal fees for one who got into trouble. My now ex wife never loved me (or so she said). My children who I used to read to every night, and did everything I could for, hardly even talk with me. My step kids NEVER talk with me.

    I used to take my ex out on dates, made her a beautiful home (which the court gave her) and tried everything I could think of to help her feel special ... but I reckon I missed something. I'd go to work every day, work on the house, or making things, make my own dinner and most nights dinner for the kids too (they told me I should have been a cook), helped clean (but was told this was only to make her feel guilty) ... actually was just because I couldn't live in a place that dirty. Paid off all her pre-marital debt, and tried in every way to be a good husband. Well, it was evident there was nothing I could do, or say to earn her love. Yes, I even brought her flowers, and wrote her cards and notes to try to show her I cared.

    So, my question is ... what do women want in a man, in a mate, in someone they can see spending their life with? I see guys who mistreat women and the women stay. I see guys treat their lives horrible, not appreciating what they have, and yet the women stay. I reckon if that is what it takes I'll always be alone, because I was raised to respect women. I watch the movies, and the shows, and wonder exactly what it is that is attractive to women. Honestly, I don't have a clue. If you could help, I'd appreciate it.
    Last edited by MustangLover; 11-16-2012 at 12:50 AM.

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    Great question, Mustang ... looking forward to the answers ..
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    If you can make me laugh, you've got one foot in the door. I need someone who will listen when I want to talk without always wanting to fix my problems for me. I want my man to treat my relationship with my daughter with respect and not try to take over, be her friend not her father - she's already got a dad even if he is useless. Other than wishing my man could fix things like my car or a broken chair for me occasionally, I don't really want much materially, just his companionship (and plenty of good sex).

    I was in a crappy relationship with my daughter's father. In my case there were self esteem issues on both sides. I believed that if I loved him enough he would change for the better. I also wanted to believe his lies. I was in some ways reenacting the past (in my case my ex is exactly like my mother). Eventually I realised he would never change and I couldn't live like that anymore, so when he offered me a way out I jumped at the chance and never looked back.

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    Mustang you got screwed....
    All I have ever wanted in my life is a man to love me for who I am...I am sure a few people here can tell you I am not always easy to get along with...**** my husband could tell you that...but through it all he has been there by my side and has loved me and cared for me through it all!!!
    All I have ever wanted is to be loved for who I am and what I am!!!!

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    ^^ That!

    I don't know your situation totally, only what you have stated in the post. But (ducking), sounds to me like you spoiled her ass rotten. You gave and she took!! That's probably just the type of person that you are but somewhere early in the marriage were there any warning signs? Did she marry you just to use you for your kindness?

    Most women including myself like to be spoiled by simple little things such as what you described above..flowers, notes, etc. Maybe she just wasn't that type of person? And to be honest, excuse my language but she sounds like a manipulative bitch to me.

    I think the reason some women stay with "bad guys" is because the "bad guy" wasn't actually who they fell in love with and when you love someone you're supposed to stick by them through thick and thin.

    Now, there are some women who are attracted to the "bad guy" type. My cousin is one of them. In every relationship that she's ever been in, she has been abused and such, mentally and physically. I think, that's all she knows in life, therefore she is attracted to that that type.

    Everyone clicks differently and everyone wants different things out of life. Sounds like she didn't want a nice, caring and concerned husbands. Maybe she will find her a bad guy and look back one day and realized just what she had in you.
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    cheers and welcome - partyde 
    Quote Originally Posted by Georgiagirl View Post
    That's probably just the type of person that you are but somewhere early in the marriage were there any warning signs? Did she marry you just to use you for your kindness?
    Well, maybe there were warning signs, but thought I could love enough, give enough, be enough so it would matter. Did try to make her laugh, and be there for her. Reckon come things just can't be fixed. Yea, she as much as told me once the only reason she married me was so I could take care of her and her kids. Pretty sad, eh??

    So, 1) make ya'll laugh, 2) listen, and don't try to fix the problems, 3) don't demean or belittle ...

    What else ... ???

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    *sigh*....my heart breaks everytime I read someone being used like this. There is no satisfying a person like that...male or female. They are out for themselves, and will put up a good front in the beginning. It is true, she probably never really loved you, but the truth is, she doesn't and never will have the capacity to truly love anyone....so don't EVER take that personally. Advice, do everything in your power to let it go...cause every second pondering over that worthless piece of skin is more of your precious time wasted. Seriously, there is NOTHING you could have done differently except have been with a good person who appreciated everything you had to give. Lesson learned. Now, just figure out WHY IN GAWD'S NAME...you were attracted to her in the first place and do NOT go there again....

    Every woman is different in what they want...just make sure what you have to offer is exactly what they will also appreciate, respect and love....as that is 1000 times more important.

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    cheers and welcome - partyde 
    Quote Originally Posted by strawberrywine View Post
    *sigh*....my heart breaks everytime I read someone being used like this. There is no satisfying a person like that...male or female. They are out for themselves, and will put up a good front in the beginning. It is true, she probably never really loved you, but the truth is, she doesn't and never will have the capacity to truly love anyone....so don't EVER take that personally. Advice, do everything in your power to let it go...cause every second pondering over that worthless piece of skin is more of your precious time wasted. Seriously, there is NOTHING you could have done differently except have been with a good person who appreciated everything you had to give. Lesson learned. Now, just figure out WHY IN GAWD'S NAME...you were attracted to her in the first place and do NOT go there again....

    Every woman is different in what they want...just make sure what you have to offer is exactly what they will also appreciate, respect and love....as that is 1000 times more important.

    Recon you're right when you say it was my fault. She was all sweet and nice at the start when we started dating. Didn't seem I could ever do anything wrong. We enjoyed the time we had together, but don't think I took the time to really know her, so, guess you're right on that one. Reckon us men don't know what a woman really wants or expects from us. Need to find a woman with a true heart, who hasn't been too scarred by her past, and maybe have a chance for something good. Otherwise, I'll stick with my dogs. They are always good to me.

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