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Thread: Online Secret Relationships

  1. #11
    BeyondExcess's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas!!! - SpecialK For all you do to help keep the site open. - SpecialK To stick into your headdress :-) - Elvensong A medal for helping me so much. - theirishman Here you go - theirishman 
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    It's definitely an odd situation when people want to remain "private" about their online relationships. I have had people in the past work me into the private thing based on the terrible things that can supposedly happen to break it apart when other members are aware of it. Course, in retrospect, I see now that it was just the reason they used to hide me away.

    I think in the future if it is insisted upon that anything remain hidden, I have to respectfully decline.
    Tgirl, SpecialK and 1hotrod like this.

  2. #12
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    15 months and counting - 1Alex Merry Christmas, didn't know what to get you :) - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas!! - SpecialK Merry Christmas - Georgiagirl 
    Happy new year - Sthomp27 For my poor attempt at humor, have some good humor :) - Sthomp27 'Cuz I really enjoy your company here and I missed ya! - jbincali here are 11 roses because you are my 12th - jerrjerr Always and Forever - jerrjerr 
    lovin yuz postin :D - Tgirl Have a warm, safe valentine's day TT! - jbincali I like you......yes I do.... - 1Alex I know you missed these lol. For old times sake ;) - Sthomp27 More appropriate :) - Sthomp27 
    Thanks for helping me reach 5000 - Sthomp27 Thanks for everything, you were wonderful - Sthomp27 For being so sweet - 1hotrod a snack to relax ;) - Tgirl Merry Christmas!!! - SpecialK 
    I am going to play the devils advocate when I say that keeping it open will always have certain individuals judge & criticize you based on their own prejudices. Do you keep your real life relationship open to all of those around you? By all accounts and purposes there are your "online pals" who will stand by you and listen, but they aren't to great in the advice giving department. And of course we can't forget the ones that are always offering their opinion. But in the end, how much do they really know about you & how much do they care. I suppose different points of view might give some of us insight but on the whole, my preference would be to keep my online relationship fairly private.
    Growing up my parents forced me to eat greens. To this day I am banned from 24 golf courses.

  3. #13
    BeyondExcess's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas!!! - SpecialK For all you do to help keep the site open. - SpecialK To stick into your headdress :-) - Elvensong A medal for helping me so much. - theirishman Here you go - theirishman 
    Because you love it :-) - Elvensong To calm your mind ;-) - Elvensong To don some war paint if worj today should lead to some hand-to-hand combat ;-) - Elvensong With bacon, as ordered :-) - Elvensong Baked to perfection - Elvensong 
    For perfectly timed kindness - Chuckee Cheers to a day with no bothers ! - Elvensong For you to not fall asleep ;-) - Elvensong Lots of luck today x - Elvensong To calm your heart should it flutter again ... - Elvensong 
    Because you're our Easter Egg ;-) ! - Elvensong For bravery in the face of not perfect events - Chuckee Been missing you! - Candi Merry Christmas, my friend! - SpecialK Merry Christmas! - Candi 
    Arthritis - Child Abuse - Colon Cancer - Colorectal Cancer - Dystonia - Education - Free Speech - Interstitial Cystitis - ME/CFIDS - Reye's Syndrome - Save the Music - Teens Against Smoking - Victim's Rights - Water Quality - BeyondExcess 
    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToez View Post
    I am going to play the devils advocate when I say that keeping it open will always have certain individuals judge & criticize you based on their own prejudices. Do you keep your real life relationship open to all of those around you? By all accounts and purposes there are your "online pals" who will stand by you and listen, but they aren't to great in the advice giving department. And of course we can't forget the ones that are always offering their opinion. But in the end, how much do they really know about you & how much do they care. I suppose different points of view might give some of us insight but on the whole, my preference would be to keep my online relationship fairly private.
    I can agree with that perspective. Definitely the part regarding advice and opinions of others. Still, there is a certain element of trust that would need to be keenly developed in order to have something private not look as a cover for other activities.

    Reminds me of a movie quote: "To some people, love doesn't exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people."

  4. #14
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    15 months and counting - 1Alex Merry Christmas, didn't know what to get you :) - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas!! - SpecialK Merry Christmas - Georgiagirl 
    Happy new year - Sthomp27 For my poor attempt at humor, have some good humor :) - Sthomp27 'Cuz I really enjoy your company here and I missed ya! - jbincali here are 11 roses because you are my 12th - jerrjerr Always and Forever - jerrjerr 
    lovin yuz postin :D - Tgirl Have a warm, safe valentine's day TT! - jbincali I like you......yes I do.... - 1Alex I know you missed these lol. For old times sake ;) - Sthomp27 More appropriate :) - Sthomp27 
    Thanks for helping me reach 5000 - Sthomp27 Thanks for everything, you were wonderful - Sthomp27 For being so sweet - 1hotrod a snack to relax ;) - Tgirl Merry Christmas!!! - SpecialK 
    Quote Originally Posted by BeyondExcess View Post
    I can agree with that perspective. Definitely the part regarding advice and opinions of others. Still, there is a certain element of trust that would need to be keenly developed in order to have something private not look as a cover for other activities.

    Reminds me of a movie quote: "To some people, love doesn't exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people."
    Well stated.
    BeyondExcess likes this.
    Growing up my parents forced me to eat greens. To this day I am banned from 24 golf courses.

  5. #15
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    Merry Christmas!! - SpecialK Merry Christmas - Georgiagirl Afternoon snack - Georgiagirl For putting up with my posts.  :) - TwinkleToez Hope you've had a great weekend. - Georgiagirl 
    cause you make me smile - Tgirl You have a sweet heart. - TwinkleToez 
    I gotta go with Twink & GG. I s'pect that there are a lot of people who use online friendships and/or relationships as an escape from boredom, sadness, abusiveness, etc. which, if outed, would cause serious personal problems. It's my opinion that a person can achieve anonymity and share their time & issues with a "secret" friend and flirt, joke, or whatever, without either person being damaged, doncha think?
    TwinkleToez likes this.

  6. #16
    Tgirl is offline Flirts N Friends
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    almost forgot the donuts! :) - doncpa figured I would send something different this time..give this a lick ;) - doncpa they didn't have soup here - but you probably like this better anyways - doncpa so I read quotes from the book while you sit on my lap.  ;) - doncpa Happy Easter! - doncpa 
    Good Morning! :) - doncpa Enjoy your trip! - doncpa Cause I'm hungry for pretzels..lol - doncpa Headache, go away!!! - Lucky Just cause! - Lucky 
    :) - johnstubbleton does this help? - doncpa Because you need to stay caffeinated... - doncpa Good Morning - cypher This will cool down the heat. - TwinkleToez 
    Some coffee for you - Enjoy! - doncpa Good Morning! - doncpa Good morning sweetie! - doncpa I know you don't come here much - but hi anyway! - doncpa Because I miss her... - Erdr1ck 
    Adoptee - Bone Cancer - Child Exploitation and Abuse - Hope and Support - Peace - Retinoblastoma - Right to Life - Student Sexual Assault - Tgirl 
    reading the last three posts, (great BTW) I think some people have commented two different ways. The perspective from an online relationship in the online world being secret to me is a slippery slope. I think if both parties are forming a trusting bond and can be online together building those walls around them for the sake of their relationship then that's great. That kind of relationship is centered around, love, trust, and an unconditional bond that is very hard to find. IE. Ls and SK. I think these two have mastered it and I'm their biggest cheerlearder. All that to say, if one party isn't willing to be open, or wants to hide from people that you are indeed a couple or even close friends then something isn't right. Again, you can work hard to avoid others destroy a great friend/relationship by being very picky about who you allow in your inner world.
    From the perspective of a secret online relationship as the "real" world see it should be protected at all cost and of course the understanding of it needing to be secret is just understood.

  7. #17
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    15 months and counting - 1Alex Merry Christmas, didn't know what to get you :) - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas!! - SpecialK Merry Christmas - Georgiagirl 
    Happy new year - Sthomp27 For my poor attempt at humor, have some good humor :) - Sthomp27 'Cuz I really enjoy your company here and I missed ya! - jbincali here are 11 roses because you are my 12th - jerrjerr Always and Forever - jerrjerr 
    lovin yuz postin :D - Tgirl Have a warm, safe valentine's day TT! - jbincali I like you......yes I do.... - 1Alex I know you missed these lol. For old times sake ;) - Sthomp27 More appropriate :) - Sthomp27 
    Thanks for helping me reach 5000 - Sthomp27 Thanks for everything, you were wonderful - Sthomp27 For being so sweet - 1hotrod a snack to relax ;) - Tgirl Merry Christmas!!! - SpecialK 
    I think I am on a roll with this so here I go, once again playing the devil's advocate.

    I tend to believe that relationships become somewhat tarnished when there are to many individuals looking in. I know for most of us, we want to keep private matters private, and as most of us are aware, in setting just one person off it can make circumstances turn into something huge & dramatic. True, there are people who seemingly click in online relationships, (which is great for them) as long as things are going their way. I speak personally when I say that I have seen the aftermath of a situation that turned negative, and how far someone would go to get even. I suppose a good question to ask is, "how many online flings have you had that have been successful".......and been able to look back and say it was worth every minute....
    Growing up my parents forced me to eat greens. To this day I am banned from 24 golf courses.

  8. #18
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    MVP..Most valuable person award - Georgiagirl also...just because :) - strawberrywine I put 2 straws in it.....lol - TwinkleToez Needed to see if I got this working.....it is.  :) - TwinkleToez Thanks for being a good buddy....... - TwinkleToez 
    Share some grapes with me. - TwinkleToez My lucky charm at times. - TwinkleToez I think I owe you at least an icecream. - strawberrywine Congrats and well deserved!  MOM - Georgiagirl Happy Father's Day - Georgiagirl 
    Hope it was a good one...Happy Belated Birthday - strawberrywine Merry Christmas!! - SpecialK Merry Christmas.  Hope things are okay, I'm worried about you.  Please just let me know that you are alright sweetie.  If you left the site, that is fine but I do worry about my friends and hope that all is okay - Georgiagirl "Lucky" you are back. - TwinkleToez Maybe this will make you feel better.  :) - TwinkleToez 
    just cause - Tgirl It's Friday.  You looked hungry. - TwinkleToez your messages are an unexpected treasure to me. so here is one for you. - debbee Merry Christmas, my friend! - SpecialK Happy Valentine's Day xo - Summerfun 
    I have no secret online relationships....everything is in the open.....so....no problems.....
    THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR CONFIDENCE

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  9. #19
    Tgirl is offline Flirts N Friends
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    almost forgot the donuts! :) - doncpa figured I would send something different this time..give this a lick ;) - doncpa they didn't have soup here - but you probably like this better anyways - doncpa so I read quotes from the book while you sit on my lap.  ;) - doncpa Happy Easter! - doncpa 
    Good Morning! :) - doncpa Enjoy your trip! - doncpa Cause I'm hungry for pretzels..lol - doncpa Headache, go away!!! - Lucky Just cause! - Lucky 
    :) - johnstubbleton does this help? - doncpa Because you need to stay caffeinated... - doncpa Good Morning - cypher This will cool down the heat. - TwinkleToez 
    Some coffee for you - Enjoy! - doncpa Good Morning! - doncpa Good morning sweetie! - doncpa I know you don't come here much - but hi anyway! - doncpa Because I miss her... - Erdr1ck 
    Adoptee - Bone Cancer - Child Exploitation and Abuse - Hope and Support - Peace - Retinoblastoma - Right to Life - Student Sexual Assault - Tgirl 
    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToez View Post
    I think I am on a roll with this so here I go, once again playing the devil's advocate.

    I tend to believe that relationships become somewhat tarnished when there are to many individuals looking in. I know for most of us, we want to keep private matters private, and as most of us are aware, in setting just one person off it can make circumstances turn into something huge & dramatic. True, there are people who seemingly click in online relationships, (which is great for them) as long as things are going their way. I speak personally when I say that I have seen the aftermath of a situation that turned negative, and how far someone would go to get even. I suppose a good question to ask is, "how many online flings have you had that have been successful".......and been able to look back and say it was worth every minute....
    I can truthfully say I had one that was successful online. Real life got in the way that made it fall to pieces. And it was worth every millisec mostly because now we are wonderful real life friends. That said. I agree with what you said. Well done

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  11. #20
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    15 months and counting - 1Alex Merry Christmas, didn't know what to get you :) - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas - Sthomp27 Merry Christmas!! - SpecialK Merry Christmas - Georgiagirl 
    Happy new year - Sthomp27 For my poor attempt at humor, have some good humor :) - Sthomp27 'Cuz I really enjoy your company here and I missed ya! - jbincali here are 11 roses because you are my 12th - jerrjerr Always and Forever - jerrjerr 
    lovin yuz postin :D - Tgirl Have a warm, safe valentine's day TT! - jbincali I like you......yes I do.... - 1Alex I know you missed these lol. For old times sake ;) - Sthomp27 More appropriate :) - Sthomp27 
    Thanks for helping me reach 5000 - Sthomp27 Thanks for everything, you were wonderful - Sthomp27 For being so sweet - 1hotrod a snack to relax ;) - Tgirl Merry Christmas!!! - SpecialK 
    Quote Originally Posted by 1Alex View Post
    I have no secret online relationships....everything is in the open.....so....no problems.....
    Yes, Alex, we all know that......
    1Alex and Tgirl like this.
    Growing up my parents forced me to eat greens. To this day I am banned from 24 golf courses.

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